Loyana's Letters - III

Terrible times befall us all dearies. It wasn't all that long before Niki was enamored with my persona. Love? He was, still is, incapable of loving anyone. Niki wouldn't know love if it danced naked in front of him. He's always mistaken love for being a pure, crystal clear emotion - as fine as a diamond of the first water. Little did he know that love is pain. Sharp, tangy, a double edged sword that cuts both ways. Poor boy still looks for it.

I know because I can still hear his voice weaving soft moonlit threads into dreams before my eyes. "We'll find love one day Loyana. It'll be hiding behind a tree, underneath a seashell on the shore, in a lily in a garden, underneath the leaves of a Gulmohar. We'll find it Loyana. In the soft earlobe of a baby, in a blue silk ribbon, in a fine cotton sheet, in cats' paws, in seesaws - anywhere and everywhere. But we'll never share it. With anyone. Least of all with each other."

I would have liked to tell him then what I'm sharing with you now, you'll find love alright. But not in any of those places. You'll find it in a girl's tears, in a mother's anxiety, behind a father's grim facade, hidden under layers of toughness, concealed as carefully as a pirate's treasure in a big wooden trunk, as meticulously as an ageing actress' wrinkles. You won't find it coupled with happiness. It comes with a veneer of sadness - be it mine or yours, young or old, rich or poor, far or near. It will always, ALWAYS bring sadness and distress with it.

Niki went looking in all the wrong places. I didn't. But he got lucky and I? I'm still looking........