Hell – III

To say that I slept fitfully would be a huge lie. I slept very well, quite literally as snug as a bug in a rug. I didn’t want to think about what tomorrow would bring, it’s the present that mattered.

The next few days were a blur, the mundane realities of banking - standing in queues, watching minutes turn into hours, finding infinite reserves of patience to deal with the sea of inertia and inactivity that plagues Government institutions like an incurable disease, waiting for what seemed to be an eternity for some kind of action, and then suddenly being confronted with a flurry of activity that ultimately ends in a huge noise of faded rubber stamps meeting paper.

Another few hours of apathy induced suffering and I had a scrap of paper in my hand that entitled me to put myself through another six months of alternating torture and stupor inducing monologues that would be the last word in monotony.

I had too much time to think but I chose to sink into a state of perpetual ennui briefly alleviated by paperbacks and my trusty old walkman. Belief in the power of procrastination was strong and my energy was at an all time low.

Perversely my body decided that it was just the time to throw a tantrum, years of junk food and comfort eating came back to haunt me and I ended up with a horrible infection that rendered me speechless and sniffling like a caricature dog. The desire to eat dwindled and soon I was losing weight without even trying. By the time I was well again I had dropped enough poundage to elicit favorable comments from peers and coworkers alike.

So much water under the bridge yet the calendar showed that barely a fortnight had passed. I looked at myself in the mirror and asked, “Who are you?” No answer. The new person that stared back was just as upset as I was and equally confused.

Hell - II

For a short while after that I was able to forget that I had made any kind of pact. After I left I walked all the way home, all the while feeling the weight of my messenger bag grow heavier by the second. Maybe it was my imagination or maybe it was for real but I remember getting tired with each step and feeling that I had let myself in for something that was wrong.

It would be a very long time indeed before I would think about things in the perspective of right and wrong, until then I would simply look at them with a detachment that would cease to amaze me after the first few times.

The night was bitterly cold. I kept walking through the streets that would take me far away from the coffee shop back to the small room that held the semblance of comfort and normality. Gradually an awareness of a faint ring brought me out of the reverie that I’d sunk into. My cell phone was ringing. I pulled it out of my bag where it usually stays, Rudra’s name was flashing on the display. I wanted to ignore it but then I finally decided to answer it.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“I’m not sure they’re not worth even that much,” I said, “and why this sudden interest in my thoughts?”

“Well, they seem to be occupying your mind to the extent that you haven’t noticed that I’ve been following you for the past 5 minutes.”

I whipped around and almost smashed into him. He was actually following me on his bike.

“Hello to you too,” I said, “Why are you out at this time of the night and that too here?”

“Well mom I decided that I’d go for a spin and see if any one needed a ride home.”

“Well what do you know? Here I was hoping that some Good Samaritan would come along and put me out of my misery.”

“Hop on partner.”

Rudra revved up his bike and shot off the moment I settled myself behind him.

“If you don’t mind I’d like to get home in one piece,” I yelled, “and not have a stray dog lick my remains off the road.”

“Don’t worry,” He yelled back, “I’m driving within the speed limit.”

A little while later he pulled to a stop in front of my room. Since he didn’t make a move to drive off I stood there because I needed something to distract me from my melancholy mood.

“I’ll offer again, a penny for your thoughts.”

“I was just wondering how long it takes for a cheque to be encashed.”

“3 working days. Why?”

“Nothing much. I need to get a cheque encashed.”

“Well you go to the bank and then you fill up a slip…..,” he continued in the same vein with a straight face untill i began to laugh. After that we talked for a few more minutes before his cell rang and he had to go.

On that short note of happiness I turned around and walked inside.