Digression 2

When things start to go wrong then they really go wrong. What starts out as a minor problem snowballs into a huge issue and occupies your mind space to the extent that the phrase,” There’s an elephant in the room,” takes on a new meaning altogether.

It had been almost a week since I’d spoken to Loyana and she’d acknowledged my problem but it seemed more like seven seconds had ticked by faster than the grains of sand in an hourglass. Isn’t it strange the way time seems to move at a fast clip when ever you want it to move slowly and moves oh so slowly when you want it to slow down.

There haven’t been many occasions to ask god to make the moment last forever but in the blighted landscape of my life there are few patches of color that stand out in my memory and now I want to relive them forever. Snatches of memory that seem to have been plucked out of the swirling waters of the thought processes that occupy my mind and lie shimmering in the kind of completeness that only pearls and diamonds are able to achieve.

The day I saw my mother for the first time as a person, the moment when I stepped into the hospital to see her for the first and last time, the day I walked out of my father’s house sure that I would never be subjected to that kind of abuse again, the moment when I learnt that life was beginning to fall into place and that split second between the time that Loyana first walked in and settled cat like onto the table and she settled her gaze on me – that tiny millisecond of bliss, of knowing her as just an exquisitely beautiful creature and little else, those are the emotions that I want to relive again and again and again…….