The Sixth Step

There days when you wake up thinking that today is going to be your lucky day. I woke up that day without any such premonitions. It would be another mind numbingly exhausting day. I’d walk through it safe in the knowledge that I would be able to deal with whatever life was going to throw my way and yet at the end of the day I’d be tired.

I’d sink onto the pile pf blankets and mattresses and let the warmth seep into my bones. Then with great difficulty I’d rouse myself and shock my senses into reaction with a splash of cold water. The mind numbing cold that tasted raw on the skin, the rush of blood, the body’s feeble attempts to keep warm – it would all jolt me into action.

I walked into the Institute thinking about the latest assignment, I’d managed to get good grades so far and I wanted it to continue. The swirling voices dipped and fell. The sensations my skin had felt were repeated on my ears. An ingratiating harshness that would leave its mark. I walked into the institute not bothering to realize that all my classmates were clustered around the notice board. I didn’t care much. Then out of the blue somebody stopped me and asked me to sign a petition.

It took my poor cold addled brain only a few seconds to fathom that the petition was in protest of the hike in tuition fees.

I stood there not knowing what to do. I didn’t have the money and I had absolutely no idea where I was going to get it from. I was already working in most of my free time and I didn’t study in the few hours that were left then I might as well give up right now.

The whole day passed by in that blur of indecision. The messages from my classmates that the decision had been deferred till the end of the month didn’t make it any less frightening. The basic fact was that I would have to find some cash and find it fast.

Any sane person would argue that I should get a raise or loan from my boss. Any one who knew my boss would know that it would be easier to rip the head off a stone gargoyle and ensure that it spouted real blood but getting cash out of my boss was one of the words that can be counted as a synonym for impossible. My boss doesn’t hate me, he abhors me. And I’m being charitable here.

Most of my life I’ve tried to live with dignity. Wherever possible I would try to put my value system into practice. And so far it hadn’t let me down. I’d lived my life believing that things get better only if you try. Although the initial shock had been a bit too much I wasn’t about to let go. It wouldn’t hurt though to be prepared for the worst that was yet to come.

I tossed and turned through the night wondering what exactly the bets course of action could be. I’d even envisaged going to my boss and explaining my predicament. I thought about asking for an advance on my salary and then paying it off but then all those scenarios crumbled in the face of what I knew would be his answer. Don’t get me wrong here. I wasn’t pessimistic, just realistic.

That was when I decided that it was time I called Loyana………